5.23pm, Monday July 25th -- that is the time and date as I write this post... Look at me being all ahead of schedule and stuff - such an adult :-) 
I figured, while sitting in the Brisbane airport, waiting to board my flight to Canberra I would prepare a few posts and spend this time getting on track. Although the constant, "Just an announcement, ___" or "Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to invite passengers travelling to ___ on flight ___ to ____ to come forward and present their boarding passes ready for boarding" is quite disruptive, and frankly very annoying!! (First World Problem) 

I hope you've all had a lovely week; mine has definitely been challenging.

Here are the good bits :-)

It's 8.22pm on Saturday (July 16th) and for the first time in (way) over a month, I am sitting in my own bed before 10pm; alone; with a cup of tea; in my robe; and surrounded by candles. This is what I dream of. I don't think I could even begin to express how magical this feels!!!

Apologies for the lack of posts this week. Alongside arriving home from America, I had a week of prac teaching (teaching and observing classes) and had a pretty gnarly cold.

Here's a short video from my America trip!! Enjoy :-)

Last week in America *sad face*. I love my America fam so much. I should be back in November for a bit - if everything goes well and I get time off - to spend time with them for Thanksgiving and Christmas. For now, farewell America - you've been great!

Church.
Before I start, let me preface by saying that, this is in no way supposed to offend or upset anybody in anyway. Just like the rest of my blog, this is simply a statement of my personal opinion and is not meant to be malicious, disrespectful, harmful, hurtful, etc. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I am not writing this to change yours, this is simply my very own Internet Space and you have the ability to close the tab/page at any moment without having to continue reading. If you do decide to continue reading, it's somewhat of an unwritten contract that you're not going to judge my opinions or criticise them - so no nasty emails about how my beliefs/opinions/perspectives are wrong!!!

And here's another week in America. It's only a matter of days before I leave and have to head back to reality... After this Weekly Bit there will be one more in America and then I'm heading home *sad face*.

I haven't spent a lot of time taking photos throughout the weeks, but as I've previously mentioned there will be a video going up once I'm back home of my entire trip! Forgive me?! :-)

I'm not going to sit here and lie to you about being overseas and it being overly easy to be so far away from home, because it's not easy. For some reason, this trip has been one of the hardest - yet most rewarding - for me so far. Yes, I've had my few mental breakdowns *sigh* and a few moments where I've just felt like jumping on a plane and heading back home, but I've also had some awesome and incredible memories and moments with my American family.

More Seattle adventures :-) So sorry that I missed Saturday's post but I've been preoccupied and having such a great time over here! I promise to make more of an effort in the upcoming weeks :-)

Here's another of my Follow Me Around type videos for my blog, since I had such a great response on my last one! This is from May 26th, 2016.

Enjoy your week!

This was a super chilled and relaxed week while I settled into the timezone and Morgan had her very last week of high school ever!! For some stupid reason this trip was the most difficult to adjust to the 17 hour time difference, and I also had my body adjusting to American food. Enough talking, here are photos from week 1 in Seattle, Washington.

Quite a well-known fact about me, I'm a serious over-packer! If I'm going someone for just one to two nights, I'll take a large duffle bag filled with stuff for 'just in case'. It's ridiculous... I figured, considering I'm currently in America, and will be here until July 8th, that I would do a post on the things I've brought with me. Keeping in mind that I'll be staying with my friend Morgan the whole time at her house and will have access to a washing machine for my entire stay here, I figured I'd try the whole 'packing light' thing. Well, my version of it anyway.

Firstly, my idea of packing lightly for the trip is two suitcases... One suitcase had my clothes, shoes and makeup and the other had my underwear, swimwear, chocolates and lollies for Morgan (and my awesome host family) and electrical stuff. Other than that, here's a list of how I attempt to pack light(er than normal):
4 pairs of jeans;
1 pair of shorts;
2 skirts;
9 tops (singlets and t-shirts);
3 dresses (1 more formal dress for Morgan's graduation and 2 more casual dresses);
2 playsuits;
2 sets of pyjamas;
1 light robe;
2 sets of workout gear;
4 pairs of socks
12 sets of underwear

1 pair of casual heels;
1 pair of Nike trainers;
2 pairs of sandals (black and tan);
1 pair of flip flops;

Travel adaptor;
Go Pro & charger; and
Polaroid & film;

Toiletries wise: foundation, powder, primer, contour palette, highlight, 3 lipsticks, mascara, liquid eyeliner, Naked eyeshadow palette, moisturisers, makeup brushes, hair brush, face wash, shampoo/conditioner, razor, makeup remover, nail polish remover, 3 nail polishes, cotton pads.

It may still seem like a lot, but I used to take almost triple the amount of stuff for less time!

I've done one of these somewhat recently, but I thought I'd do an update in my attempts to stop overpacking...
Below is a photo is of my filled backpack, but here's a list of what's inside:

iPhone & charger
Passport & printed tickets
Laptop
GoPro
Outfit for when I land - black jeans, white top, belt
Blanket
Liquids bag - foundation, concealer, toothpaste, perfume, moisturiser, lip balm
Other makeup - toothbrush, makeup brushes, powder, another lip balm
Gum
Tissues, hand sanitizer wipes, make up remover wipes
Glasses and sunglasses
Headphones
Empty water bottle (to fill after I go through security)

I'M FINALLY IN SEATTLE!!!! Get ready for a bunch of photos and stuff to be uploaded... But I apologise in advance if I miss a post or something, I'll try my hardest while on holidays! :-)
Much Love,

Hello my lovelies!! Wondering why I'm so chirpy?! As of the time this is being uploaded I have about 4 hours before I board for my first (of two) flights for Seattle!!! I have a 13 hour flight to LAX, followed by a short 2 hour layover and then a 3 hour flight to Seattle airport!! I'm spending the next 5 weeks living with Morgan (and my awesome host family - you're going to see the names Morgan, Jori, Jason and Brandon pop up a lot over the next month or so because they're my amazing American family that I'm staying with until June 10). We have a few exciting things planned: Morgan graduates high school on June 13, day trips into Downtown Seattle, a trip to the water park, a weekend away at the beach, American Independence Day celebrations and many, many, many more!

But before we get into all of the exciting things/posts/photos/etc. I thought I'd share with you my routine leading up to a flight/long trip. Since I'm going for 5 weeks, I had to really sit down and think about every possible situation and item that I would need to take.
Here 10 steps following how I prepare to travel and some specific things I did for this particular 5 week holiday:
A week leading up to leaving -
1. I write a list of every item I need to pack.
Being a 5 week trip this was quite difficult! I first started with a list that went something like; 10 pairs of jeans, 6 skirts, 15 tops, etc. And got cut down to 3 pairs of jeans, 2 skirts and 9 tops... I tried my hardest to write down on a single piece of paper everything I was going to actually need. Since I know I have Morgan's graduation while I'm over there I packed a more dressy outfit to wear, but it could also be paired with some sandals if we are just going into the city or something. The heels I packed to wear to her graduation are super casual, so if we're going out to dinner I could pair them with a shirt and jeans and still have quite a casual look. Another thing, I know Morgan has a hot tub at her house but we are also spending a weekend at the beach and going to a waterpark - the old Emma would have packed about 6 swimsuits for this, instead I'm only bringing 2 pairs (so that one can dry if I'm wearing them 2 days in a row)! As for makeup and things, most goes in my checked in luggage and the very bare essentials go in my carry on so that once I land in LAX and am through customs waiting for my domestic flight, I can make myself look somewhat presentable - considering it'll only be 11.30am when I land in Seattle!
2. I figure out which luggage I'm going to take, both carry on and checked in luggage.
I spoilt myself this trip! I've had the same pinkish/purple Samsonite suitcase for about 5 years now and it's slowly beginning to fall apart. So I figured I would splurge, I bought myself 2 new white American Tourister suitcases. I get really excited with new luggage (I'm weird, I know) but it also means I lot more room for stuff to take and bring home! As for my carry on bag, I could never go wrong taking my Crumpler backpack. I always bring it on long flights; it's really convenient to have a backpack to free up your hands while walking around the airport, it doesn't hurt your shoulders because it equally distributes the weight and they hold so much!
3. I begin compiling everything that I'm going to take and purchase anything I don't have. 
I make sure I've got everything on my list and if I don't have something I'll make a stop to the shops a couple of days before I leave. I also make sure I check the weather before I leave - I don't want to have packed jeans and jumpers and then arrive to super hot weather. Luckily, having Morgan in Seattle I was not only able to make a FaceTime call to her and discuss what the weather was like but I also know that if I've forgotten anything I can borrow something from her!
4. I ensure everything is still in date and all tickets are printed. 
I have a reminder set in my phone for a year before my passport is due to be renewed so that should never expire unexpectedly, but I know travelling to the USA (as an Australian) I need an ESTA Visa to travel. I've been to America within the last 2 years so my previous ESTA is still valid, but they are super easy to apply for! It's just a couple of questions on a website, around $20 Australian dollars and you're good to go!! :) I'm super paranoid about travelling and not being able to get on a flight because I don't have something printed out, so I'm always that person who travels with a print out of each flight, my visa and anything else I may possibly need - but to this day have never actually had to show any of them at an airport - I've jinxed myself now haven't I?! While I do this, I also check that I have a few blog posts that are written waiting in drafts for in case something happens and I don't have access to my computer or I get carried away having fun and forget to post something! So I like to be able to quickly open the app on my phone and upload something so I don't miss a day of blogging.
5. About 2 days before I leave I start putting everything into my suitcase/s and my carry on bag. 
Pretty self explanatory, yeah?
The night before - 
6. I make sure each bag is packed, nothing is left out and my carry on bag isn't too heavy to carry around for long periods of time. 
Again, something else I'm paranoid about. I don't want to get to my destination and realise I've left my makeup bag sitting on my bed at home. I always triple, or even quadruple, check my suitcase/s and carry on bag to make sure I have everything packed that was written on my list! I'm even more pedantic about making sure I have my wallet, passport, phone, laptop and chargers!
7. I have an intense shower. 
The night before a long flight/trip I like to have a super, super long shower. I put a movie on my laptop, sit on the floor of the shower and exfoliate my entire body, double cleanse my face, (now that I have blonde hair) I put a hardcore toning shampoo through my hair and make sure I'm super smooth. A shower the night before a flight could go on for an hour and a half... Whoops.
8. I try to get a good night sleep. 
If possible, I try and get a really good night sleep. I'm really good at being able to adjust to timezones - it's one of my only talents - so I've never been jetlagged. As soon as I get on the plane, I switch my phone to the time of my destination and sleep accordingly, no matter how long I've slept for the night before. However, if I have a layover or two I don't want to be falling asleep in the airport and missing my flight so I like to be feeling really awake. If I'm not super excited about my travels for the next day I try and fall asleep really early. I tend to book flights that leave fairly early, my flight to LAX left Brisbane at 10.30am, so I needed to be awake by 7am and out of the house just before 8am. This meant I could fall asleep around 8pm-9pm and get a tonne of sleep!
The morning of - 
9. I have quite a quick, but still relaxing shower. 
Because I'm normally in some kind of rush I jump in the shower, as it's the last one I'm going to have for a fair few hours, and do a similar thing to the night before but a more shortened version. I exfoliate my arms and legs, put a charcoal mask on my face while toning and conditioning my hair and then rinse it all off.
10. Just before I leave for the airport is usually quite frantic. 
Just before I leave for the airport is absolute chaos. I always leave myself heaps of time (and I am always at the my airport on time) but I still manage to panic about not leaving on time or the possibility of forgetting something. *Touch wood* To this day, I've never forgotten anything and I've never missed a flight.

I'll keep you updated while I'm in Seattle and my blogging schedule will still be the same! I'm going to continue to upload my posts according to the GMT+10 time zone, which is Brisbane (Australia's) timezone.

Hey lovely people! There isn't a lot of content in today's post, more just a disclaimer to let you know that I'll be overs in the United States of America for the next 5 or so weeks. So between now and July 10th, if there is a delay in the uploading of posts or a missed post, just know that I'm trying my best... but while I'm over there I am trying to enjoy myself and have some time off from everything! I'll be trying my best to have everything pre-scheduled before I leave on Saturday!

I love you all and get ready for many, many photo posts :-)

All I will say about this week is that I drank too much, didn't sleep enough but made the most incredible memories that I will cherish for my lifetime!
I am so incredibly grateful to be surrounded by my friends and have an awesome group of people to hang out with! They're all awesome and inspire me in so many different ways!

To celebrate The Simple Emma (formally Unorthodox Simplicity) turning 2 years old(!!!!), I thought I'd upload a photo from each month since May 2014 when this blog began. Thank you all so much for sticking by me for the past two years - through my ups, downs, twists, turns, emotional rollercoaster, boring posts, missed posts and miscellaneous uploads. I don't have the ability to describe just how grateful I am to be able to write and do what I absolutely love for a living and as my job. I don't, for one minute, take any of you for granted. While I'm thanking you, I'd also like to thank you fo getting me close to 4 million followers/readers. That's an unfathomable number that in May of 2014, when I was 16 years old, never thought would be associated with my blog. This blog was started as a part of the Internet where I could write about rants, raves and vent and somehow it's become my main source of income. You guys are so incredible andI can't believe we're where we are now!

I hope you all had an enjoyable week! I sure did! And am now in serious countdown mode for my trip to Seattle, less than 2 weeks to go! I'm thinking I might make a few changes to The Weekly Bit but I'll let you know before anything happens!
Enjoy and have a great week! :-)

I think I've found my happiness. Finally. Here's my theory right - happiness comes from within, yeah? This is something that I've been struggling with for quite a number of years now and have finally, in the past 2 weeks, come to find. People who try and argue with you that happiness comes from the outside and materialistic things are pure liars (that may be too strong)... I had been told this previously and had worked on myself from the outside; clearly, it didn't work. I thought that I could control my happiness by eating a block of chocolate, having a glass of wine, buying myself a pair of shoes, or hanging out with people I thought others "wanted" me to hang out with. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. It took my 18 years, 9 months and 4 days to realise how I could discover my own happiness. It's been a combination of being happy with my uni grades, work life, relationships and weight - along with a few other things.      


I am single for the first time in about 6 years, which is weird to say considering I'm only 18... But it's true and, honestly, one of the most liberating feelings ever! And I'm totally embracing it too! Not feeling obliged to be texting somebody 24/7, not feeling guilty for staying in bed all day instead of going to see someone, having a girls night and not feeling bad about it - but most of all, being able to completely find myself and discover who I am as a person. If I'm honest, I was terrified to be single and out in the world on my own. But if I can recommend anything to anyone, it would be to spend some time being single and being on your own. I've now been single for about 3 months and in that time I feel like I've grown into a totally different person, someone who is confident(ish), independent and totally fine going solo (for now). It's such an incredibly liberating feeling to have the ability to discover yourself and I am incredibly grateful for this time.

I never had much desire to lose weight or become more 'healthy' or anything but it just sort of happened. I use the term healthy in quotations because it's such a broad and complex topic now... In November 2015 I decided to book a mini health vacation for a week to distance myself from reality to try to better myself. Since then, I've somehow managed to lose about 16kg's and completely changed my diet. It wasn't an intentional thing to lose that much weight, but I told myself that I wanted to feel more confident when I looked at myself in the mirror. I now do. I think I still have a little way to go, but with the help of my PT, eating healthy and doing yoga a few times a week I'm slowly on my way to reaching my goal. Overall changing my diet has completely changed how I feel, I just feel a lot happier and it's definitely true that what you put into your body adjusts how you feel!

Enjoy!

A very relaxed and calming week - you'll see in the photos! I was lucky enough that for most of my week I was surrounded by my beautiful friends, which came as a welcome distraction from certain aspects of my life.
I hope you all had a lovely week!!
Enjoy :-)

What a beautiful morning it was this morning! - Saturday, May 14th 2016 - After the week/month/year I've been having I figured I needed to mix up my routine, wake up early enough to watch the sunrise and enjoy the beautiful beach with my friends. Sorry for the late upload (only 4 hours, but still) but because I wanted to upload a photoset of the sunrise/beach from this morning today it had to wait a little. Last weekend was quite an opening and awakening weekend for me and as cliche as it sounds, I feel a little differently within myself since then. This week has, therefore, been quite a 'get to know myself again' week and it felt incredible to start the weekend with a beautiful sunrise. There's a post coming up somewhat soon about my 'perspective' on a few things, so watch out for that :-)

Anemice and I woke up at 5.15am and met the boys down at the lighthouse at 6am to watch the 6.15am sunrise. Afterward, we headed down to the beach to play cards, write this blog post and eat a 1 litre acai bowl for breakfast.

A change of pace for once. I'm going to start incorporating more posts like this because they seem to be quite loved by all of you :-) !! I don't put much effort into getting ready when I'm going to university because all I'm going there to try and learn something, write down a bunch of notes, probably drink a coffee and then go back home to work on either an assignment or work stuff. So, I figured I'd do a photo post of what I put on my face before I go to university / what I wear most days when I can't really be bothered to make a huge effort but still want to look somewhat presentable - emphasis on somewhat. I've linked everything in the captions of the photo, so that if you're interested in a product it's easier to find.
Enjoy!

I'm taking today's post off; this weekend I am going away to spend some time relaxing, reflecting and teaching myself to start a fresh. It's about a 4 hour drive to my family's beach house that I'll be staying at for the weekend and am excited to spend a lot of the weekend relaxing on the beach reading, writing more of my book and spending some quality alone time!

Thank you so incredibly much in advance for accepting these posts and recognising that I need to take time off!

There will be a Weekly Bit post uploaded on Monday :-)

Dear Lovely Readers,
   As I'm sure a lot of you are aware, I'm currently facing some pretty shit life decisions at the moment and am attempting to "fix" myself so that I am prepared to face my future. Because of this, I am showing more and more signs of anxiety. I have been quite an anxious person since early high school but in the last year or so it has become more overwhelming, and I believe changed my personality. When I say changed my personality, I don't mean for the better. In 2013, I found who I really was and I realised that it's okay to be me - "me" is a mix of introvert, but extremely loud and comfortable when around my closest friends. I was happy with who I was and I was proud to be the person I was. In recent times, the manifestation of anxiety in my body, I believe, has changed my personality. It's made me a much more "on edge" person, a worried person, a shy person and uncomfortable person. A person I don't like. I am more nervous in a social situation than I have ever been before. I have constant depressive thoughts. Excessive irritability. Constant worrying... This list could go on. I've been seeing a psychiatrist for about 2 years now and have increased my visits to attempt to overcome these feelings and emotions. It's a constant, back-and-forth battle between my brain and my heart that I must sort out. I hate going to sleep at night, because I hate knowing that when I wake up the next morning my problems will still be there. I had a night this week where my hands shook uncontrollably, heart raced (what felt like) faster than it ever it and I felt hyper-awake. I was on edge and I felt like I had absolutely no control over my own body - something I'd never felt before. I've become more anti-social than I was before and have started shutting out my best friends because I don't want to have to face anyone anymore. At this point, my anxiety and depression are interfering with my relationships, work, uni, but also my physical health. You'd think talking about it with a professional would help, but for some reason it just makes me feel less in control. I take medication daily to "control" my anxiety but it's beginning to fail at it's job. We all deserve to live a happy and worry-free life, I know this but my brain is struggling to compute.
I will try my best to have scheduled uploads, but if there is a day that I miss an upload, please know I am trying my hardest to overcome a few hurdles and am trying to get back on my feet.
I know you'll understand, and thank you so much!

Tuesday, April 26th, was the day of yet another shitty panic attack. It wasn't a necessarily bad day; Anemice stayed over the night before so we spent the morning laying in bed and catching up on Grey's Anatomy, I had a 12 o'clock creative writing lecture - a class I actually enjoy - followed by cards with friends at our favourite cafe. This was probably around the time of the onset of the panic attack... Sigh. For some stupid reason I just began feeling very anxious and overwhelmed about half way through our card games. It was definitely a feeling that I'm quite used to, but nonetheless not one that I'm fond of. Being an emotion/feeling that I am quite aware of, I know exactly how to react to it - ignore it, take my mind off of it with other things and just pretend it isn't there. This worked, briefly. By this point it was time to leave the cafe and head back to uni for my 5pm tutorial. Tuesday at 4pm is when I went completely downhill... I began shutting down. Again, this is a normal emotion/feeling that I've just learnt to deal with. When in public, I have had to learn to put on some kind of a 'brave face' and pretend that nothing is wrong, there's nothing stressful or panic-y going on in my mind and that I'm just the regular, happy Emma from about 2 years ago. I've realised this past year or so has been a very emotion-filled time in my life and that's definitely a mixture of quite a few things that have happened in my life - moving out of home, falling in love, feeling heartbroken, finding myself, more heartbreak; this list could go on. I have definitely considered taking a break from blogging while this was all going on but I know that some of my lovely readers struggle with similar things and this is somewhat helpful; also, it's been my outlet and I place I come to vent and rant when I don't want to bother my friends with the stupid life decisions that I have made that result in me being in this current rut... So back to uni I went and I just felt like I had to remove myself from being with my friends while I attempted to recover - I found myself a nice shady tree and sat under it while beginning this blog post and having a heartfelt, crying phone conversation with Meg. Meg's my person you know - the person who I don't mind (well, sometimes I do mind and in which case you just get more posts of me ranting) bothering for a quick (sometimes hour long) phone call, back and forth texts or sharing of inspirational quotes on Pinterest when I need her most. So that's where I was - crying on the grass, under a tree, on a late Tuesday afternoon waiting for my tutorial to begin. Sad, right?! Ah well, this will all past and once it has I'll just be glad that I've not only gotten through this shitty patch, but also been able to help out some of you!

As for right now, I'm sitting in the creative writing tutorial - in allocated 'assignment writing time' - wishing I was at home, with a large cup of tea, covered in blankets and a piece of chocolate in hand. One can dream...

I'll be okay soon; for right now I'll just be the melodramatic 18-year-old who is struggling to find her place. Much love,

Not a lot of photos were taken this week - my apologies... It's been a mixture of assignments being due, emotions being high and my schedule being jam-packed all week! I didn't really think this post was worth uploading, but... here it is. Again, my apologies for the lack of content!

Hopefully next week will be more exciting!!! I hope you've all enjoyed your week!

I've finally come to a decision on my new blogging schedule; there will still be posts up on Monday's, Thursday's and Saturday's, but some of the content is going to change.

Monday: will remain The Weekly Bit; 
Thursday: will be a mixture between travel posts, university survival guides (from my perspective), book/movie reviews and the occasional get ready with me style posts;
Saturday: will now be Miscellaneous posts about rants, raves, vents, etc.

Thank you all so much for the support throughout my shitty year so far! You're all incredible and I don't give you enough credit.

April 20th, 2016 - the most Monday feeling Wednesday I've had in a long time. I'm not sure what exactly it was that had this perfectly fine Wednesday feeling like a Monday, but it just did.

For me, most Monday's are fairly simple and easygoing. I have the day off from uni so I usually allow myself a little lie in and then answer emails and catch up on the blogging world from the comfort of my bed before having to face the real world, somewhere around lunchtime. Meaning that, I normally skip the whole 'I hate Monday' thing. Not this week, my friends. Nope. Today, Wednesday April 20th, felt like such a Monday. It's 10pm, I've just come home from a somewhat action filled day and an evening of debating. I'm tucked in bed with a soothing face mask and a giant glass of ice cold water to prepare me for bed - but I'm kind of wishing it was a glass of red wine, I'd even settle for white wine. I'm just feeling a little down. You know? It's no secret that I've kind of been faced with a bunch of shitty things recently, but as normal I let them bunch up until I get overly anxious, have some level of panic attack and result in hiding under the blankets on my bed. That's how I felt for most of today. Let me explain. This morning was quite chilled, I woke up early and went for a hike up a nearby mountain. Came home, showered, had avocado and feta on toast while working on a few assignments. Submitted an assignment 2 days early so I was feeling quite pleased with myself... Had a long-ish, and quite funny, phone call with Holly. Got ready for my day, and faced quite a challenging phone call (not going into it - sorry for the vague-ness) on my way to see Anemice. From this point I had to put on a happy face and pretend I didn't receive that phone call for the rest of the day, with in lingering on the back of my mind. Sigh. Anemice and I went down to the beach for iced coffees and lunch (I had an acai bowl and Anemice had sushi). Then yet another challenging thing - a text from someone (again, vague-ness)... Ugh. Uni for an hour took my brain off everything. A mini cry/breakdown in the car on my way to pick up my year 10 debating team from my old school and then we drove the 40 minute drive to our debate for the evening!! These girls are hilarious and totally took my mind off of everything! Following this I had another of my crying breakdowns in the car. Now I'm here, in bed, comfy and definitely ready for sleep!

Tomorrow I've got 2 appointments in the morning and then, hopefully, the afternoon with Anemice. But tomorrow's another day and for now I'm going to switch off my brain, watch Grey's Anatomy and try to sleep!

I hope you are having a better week than I am!

This week was honestly amazing!! It did feel like it dragged on forever, but I wasn't upset because most of the week I got to spend with my best friends and it's normally quite difficult to get all of us together all the time!

I hope you all had a fabulous week!! xoxo

Oh look, another post that I'm pretending I know all about; I haven't got the whole 'being comfortable in your own skin' thing down pat yet, but I'm certainly trying. I promise, I'm trying...

I've begun wearing things, just because I want to and I feel like it. Until very, very recently I was wearing clothes based on a few things - fashion trends, what people expect people of my size to wear, what I thought I should be wearing. Fuck them. Fuck people who tell you what to wear! Wear whatever you want! (Within some kind of reason, please don't wear a bikini [and nothing else] to uni - or I mean, do it; fuck the system).

I've begun feeling okay leaving the house with little to no makeup. But then again, there are some days when I'm doing very little and want to wear a full face of makeup! You do you. If you want to go into uni or work without makeup - do it! If you want to go grocery shopping in a full makeup with lipstick and fake eyelashes and a completely highlighted and contoured face, that's totally cool too!

I've begun not caring what other people think about me and leaving people to have their own opinions of me. People are entitled to their own opinions, I'm currently expressing mine right now - for example. You can agree with it, or disagree with it but it shouldn't interfere with how you personally feel. Nobody should ever have control over your emotions...

I know it's easier said than done, but don't sweat the small stuff. Totally embrace current trends, fashion pieces, etc., but only if you truly love it and will wear it because you really want too, not because some stupid magazine or person you know told you that you should be wearing it.

This is now a term I've adopted, to describe my life. Let me explain (vaguely) why... My lovely return readers know this, but I've been struggling with a bit of a life crisis recently that has caused me to somewhat shut off from reality and begin to question who I am. It mainly has to do with the fact that I've really never been single (since I began dating) and therefore only know myself as part of a pair. Being solo is a concept crazy to understand. It's an extremely odd, and indescribable, feeling to try and put into words but I'm sure some of you will understand where I'm coming from. So, I've been doing what I know best... Drinking in excessive amounts to hide my emotions. I know I mentioned that my 'not an official New Year's resolution because I never stick to them' thing was to reduce drinking, and surprisingly I have. It wasn't necessarily for the reason that I used to drink excessively (all though I kind of did) but more for health/weight loss reasons. And I have been sticking to that. But sometimes, you just got to break the rules...

My survival mode has consisted of a lot of similar factors to my hermit mode ;) Staying in bed for far too long, watching too many seasons/series on Netflix, drinking endless bottles of wine and just being one big emotional wreck. So this means: not socialising because I would much prefer to not have to face other people (and their judgements), having the very select group of friends (that I love so much) on standby for my annoying texts when I need them most and just generally being a less happy person. But, I'm slowly getting to the end of this stage! I'm currently in training to hike to base camp of Mt Everest, which is forcing me to get out of the house and actually think about what I'm putting in my body. Sigh. I've been doing small things, this weekend I have a 10km race and I have a marathon planned for a month or so away. I'm interspersing with 15km runs twice a week and strength training - so at least I leave the house for a few hours every day! Aside from that, I've definitely been listening to the "Break Up Songs" playlist's on Spotify...

I'm not here to give advice about this subject, mainly because I'm not very good at it, but I want to express some of the realisations that I have come to in the past few weeks. Learn to be human and feel the pain - ask my close friends, I rarely allow myself to actually feel and express emotions (I'm becoming better at this) and I am currently in the learning stages of being okay with sharing and feeling emotions. Normally I will bottle everything up inside, until one day I just have an uncontrollable panic attack and my body forgets how to function. Learning to talk to someone -
this is another one that's taken me a little while to be able to comprehend and act upon but I've now learnt who my friends are that I completely and utterly trust (with my life) and know that they not only have my best interest at heart, but also they are 100% there for me without judgement. Those are the people you need to keep around in your life! Learning that sleeping with somebody else isn't necessarily going to make things any better - do I need to elaborate? Learning to love myself - this is going to be an on-going (probably for the rest of my life) kind of thing but I need to be easier on myself. Allowing myself to not take the blame for everything and allowing myself to feel as ease over particular situations/conversations/decisions. Vague enough?

Vent over.