People come and go from our lives. Some brief encounters, others a lifetime. For this, I am grateful. I now understand that while some people enter our lives, they are only meant to stay for a brief period of time - possibly to teach us a lesson. In following the attempt to make this blog more grown up, mature and open, I thought I would write down my current feelings to document them. *Deep breath* I currently have two people in my life who I am grateful for. One, a best friend - the other, an ex lover. You may be wondering why I am grateful for the latter, but I'll explain shortly.

I met my best friend over 2 years ago now, and little did I know just how much of an impact she would make on my life. As those few years have past we have become incredibly close - something I am grateful for. She isn't just a friend, but the sister I had always wanted. A soul, recognising my own. Someone to laugh with, cry with, gossip with or share a glass of wine with. She's the reason I've got through the past year and to be honest, the reason I'm still alive. She shows me the light in every situation and God's plan for us all. Together, we are stronger, braver and damn invincible. When life pulls the rug from under either of our feet and we find ourselves broken, a simple text would take away the problem. When everyone else had left, you were the one still cheering me on and giving me that little piece of hope to grab on to. Because that's what true friends do. They are the glue that stick one another together. And for that, I am grateful. Thank you for staying constant in my world full of change. Thank you for loving me when all I could feel was lonely. Thank you for letting me pour out my heart to you, no matter the time of day. I am grateful that she was not only my anchor, my rock or a shoulder to cry upon, but to teach me so many things about life. That in my darkest of days, could make me smile. That when I had given up and was ready to throw in the towel, encouraged me to see what life had planned. For that, I am grateful. I know that in the future you will be by my side to guide me, laugh with me, cry with me and share a glass of wine with me. I hope that you will be standing next to me at my wedding, an aunt to my children and my best friend forever. I pray that in 50 years from now, I will still be cushioned under your protective wing. And I have no doubt that you will still be the one I call for a helping hand, the person to lift me up when I lose faith and I will forever do the same. For you, my friend, I am grateful. 

My ex-lover, on the other hand is someone I met just over a year ago. Someone who, to let go of seems impossible. I miss you dearly. I'm not sure if I miss you however, or simply the love we shared for one another. I fell so deeply in love, very quickly - we both did. A moment, I am grateful for. A first love that I will cherish. We were so inseparable that I thought you were the one. It was a fairytale. Despite the hurt you've caused, you have taught me so many things about myself. I am grateful to know just how strong I can be. I am grateful you taught me that I don't need someone else to make me feel happy. The first time I saw you after our breakup my body felt weak, and I wished for your comfort. After seeing you, I forgot about my depression and miserable life with you. And wanted to pretend as if nothing bad had ever happened between us. If I'm honest, I drank an entire bottle of vodka that night. Just to forget the pain. Being intoxicated made me happy, it made me forget but it also made me want you back. You taught me that even through those shitty times I could put on a smile and face the world - I am grateful for the strength that gave me. I am grateful for the resilience our relationship gave me. You taught me what I deserve and how I deserve to be treated - and my dear, it's not how you treated me. However, I am grateful for the amazing love we shared, you will probably always hold a place in my heart. All of the memories we have together: the laughs, tears, and even fights. And despite our recent times together, it's time to part ways and have only a memory of one another - something I'm sure will be hard to do. Thank you for teaching me what a relationship shouldn't be.

XO