3.23pm on a Wednesday afternoon and I've found myself in this extremely adorable little cafe in the heart of Canberra (Australia). Theses days, I definitely find myself in some quaint little places in some very fun cities. I'm here visiting Holly and Cara and having a lot of very necessary alone time. One reason I went to America (aside from getting to spend time with my amazing family and exploring the local area) was to get away from my current reality and return my mindset to something happy and healthy. It didn't really work, because half way through I realised I was spending 24/7 time with them and never had any alone time to think for myself.



Visiting Canberra, so far has been the best experience and (this is a super large statement but) one of the best few days I've had in a very long time. Because, while I get to spend quite a lot of time with Holly and Cara (I'm staying at Holly's apartment with her) I am getting a lot of time alone while Holly is a uni/work. She's currently at work and I've just stumbled across this super cool looking cafe that has some of the best coffee I've ever had! Therefore, along with a lot of thinking time I've been given a lot of time to write blog posts - hence the bonus post/s this week.

I sort of at a brick wall. Do I turn around and stop blogging? Knowing that I've had a super fun time, with amazing experiences, met some incredible people and been given so many once in a lifetime opportunities... Or, do I find a way to jump over the wall (?); climb higher, build my blog bigger, take more time building it into some kind of (mini) empire and grow everything... Either way, I know it will be a big step and a big change for me to make. One option is that I just stop blogging all together - which is something I've been doing multiple times a week since I was 16, but the other option is to keep going, improve my content and make everything a lot more serious. Big decisions. I sometimes think about how I would be and where I would be if I never started blogging or if it was something I did once in a while and not as my job. How different my eighteen-year-old life would be. I would never have met my first love and had all of the crazy up and down experiences, I would never have been able to write a couple of books and have them internationally published, I would never have been able to have some of the amazing travel opportunities I've had. And the main thing is, I would never have been able to live such an 'easy' and 'free' lifestyle. I'm so thankful that my job took me places and brought me the opportunities where I could go out and buy that dress when I wanted to, and buy those shoes just because... Again, I could never express the words to say thank you, and to express how grateful I am for my blog becoming one of the more successful blogs. I definitely talk my blog 'down', so to speak, when talking about it with friends or even strangers... I should be a lot more proud of where my blog is and that I am close to hitting 4.5 million people reading and following. It's such an unfathomable thought and so incredibly awesome that I can say I have grown something to be that large and reach so many people around the world. I've said it a lot recently, but I'm just so thankful for all of my lovely readers/followers/subscribers. 4.5 million people is beyond fathomable and I don't even know what that many people look like... What does 4.5 million people even look like?!?! 

So, that's where I'm at in my life... As an 18 (almost 19) year-old university student from Australia, just questioning my place here on the Internet and where I should be taking it. Until I make up my decision, I will definitely still be blogging and uploading on my regular schedule (even having the bonus post like this every now and again, when I'm feeling spontaneous). I'm at a point of questioning if I need to take university more seriously, get a real job (not just Internet blogging) like a regular teeanger -- or, if this is what I've been called to do and this is what I'm meant to be doing until I graduate and become a High School Teacher in a few years time. Who knows?! I guess we'll be finding out all together and we can take this journey one step at a time. This is very much what this blog was supposed to be for, documenting my thoughts/feelings/emotions/adventures as a teenager trying to find my way in the real world.