Week 11: your first time – without skipping the awkward details

I’ve tossed up how to approach this…  I can’t just skip this week or pretend this topic doesn’t exist because I did agree to write about all of these. Sigh.

I’m going to preface this story by saying: I don’t necessarily regret it, it wasn’t the most pleasant experience of my life, but it wasn’t the worst I’ve ever had…  It was with a serious boyfriend. I don’t regret that part – in fact, it was probably one of the best situations. We had been talking about it for a while and since he was a few years older than me, it was on his mind a lot more than it was on mine. After a few (very minor) panic attacks, I decided that I was ready (well, I thought I was). Like most teenage girls, I expected it to be one of the most magical moments in my life – something that I would treasure and that it would be this super romantic, wonderful thing. Oh, how wrong I was. It couldn’t have been a more awkward, uncomfortable or just horrific experience. [My then boyfriend] took me out to a very cute picnic in the botanical gardens in the city, where there was a lot of making out (this is awkward, I'm sorry) and the tension of knowing what was going to happen. He had booked a hotel room in a super fancy hotel in the city and as we wandered back to the room, both of us were super quiet. When we got back to the room, he ran me a bath and spread rose petals around the room while also lighting candles. It was go time. I just remember thinking; I have never been so naked and so close to another person. Awkward. Anyone who has encountered this moment for the first, is probably aware of the… um… time span. You’ll know what I mean. I expected hours and hours, in reality it probably wasn’t even one minute before it was over. I achieved nothing except a bruised ego. We just fell straight to sleep once it was done, and it took a long time for that to happen again…

Looking back, I sort of wished that I had waited. I’m glad that I was in a long-term, serious(ish) relationship and it wasn’t just some guy I found on the street. But if I had of known how that relationship was going to end up, I definitely waited for someone more special to come along.

Awkward conversation over -- let's never bring this up again ;-)

XO