I suck at sleeping. Once I'm actually asleep, I'm fine - but it's getting to that part that I usually struggle with. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm a quite anxious person; you've realised that by now, right? I've had anxiety problems since I was about 13 or 14, and I've had sleeping problems since I was about 13 or 14 - so, I just put two and two together... I constantly lie awake worrying. It's extremely difficult, more so recently, for me to turn off my emotions and thoughts as I try to go to sleep. I read something, somewhere, that there's a connection between being anxious and being intelligent... I have never, and probably will never, consider myself anywhere in the spectrum of 'intelligent', so I'm not sure if that theory is entirely true. But basically it said that the smarter you are, the more aware you are of the scary things in the world and the more anxious you become. I don't know. It does make sense, but I'm the exception. Another thing I've put my insomnia down to is the crazy amount of sugar I eat before bed. Not so much anymore, because I'm half on the healthy bandwagon and so I've been cutting sugar out of my diet whenever I can, but I used to eat a shit ton of red frog lollies while I wrote just before bed and then couldn't sleep for hours after...

This was such a short post, but I underestimated myself. I underestimated how I was feeling and how I was doing. Maybe one day I'll do a vague post explaining, but for right now I think time (and 'hermit' mode) is all that will help.

I love you all and thank you to those of you who have sent such beautiful, caring emails! It means the world to me and I will never be able to express just how grateful I am for you all!