A Letter to My Future Child(ren).
Thursday, September 10, 2015
No, this is not me announcing that I am having a child. In fact, I've never been further from wanting children at this point in my life. And if I do, children are not in my future for at least another 10 years! But I saw one of these on Tumblr and thought it would be a good idea for my next "Letter To..." as I literally have 0 creativity.
Firstly, I wonder what I have named you. As an 18-year-old girl I obviously have a few names in mind but I doubt I'll use any of them (girls: Billie, Phoebe, Millie; boys: Charlie, Oscar, etc.).
I promise to always love you. I promise to never lie to you (other than telling you that Santa is real). I will be there for you whenever you need me and probably even when you don't want me to be there. I promise never to let anyone call you "stupid" or a "failure". I hope that you will always try your hardest in all that you do, and know that I will forever support you. I promise to appreciate you. I promise to discipline you if and when necessary. I will always encourage you to have an open mind. I will teach you all that I know and hope that you will do the same for me. I promise to love you no matter what colour your eyes are, what colour your hair is, how well you play sport or whatever you choose. I will love you whether you love boys, girls or boys and girls and I promise to support you in everything you do, even if I don't agree with it (even if you decide that you have to get your nose/tongue pierced or want to dye your hair and extravagant colour). However, you won't always get what you want, but I will try my best to explain why and I will never use the phrase "because I said so" to justify my reasoning. You will always be able to talk to me, whether you are happy, sad, angry, confused, anxious, nervous, etc. I will try not to get involved in every aspect of your life and I will respect your privacy but that being said... I hope our relationship has no secrets. I will know when you're trying to "sneak" out of the house, or you've been drinking. You don't have to hide anything from me, but just remember that I was a teenager once and don't want to know everything! I have a confession for you, I probably won't know what I'm doing as a mother. But truth is, no one does.
I will do everything in my power to ensure that you grow up with the love, support, understanding and education that you deserve.
Love Always.
P.S. I was stalking myself and my old blogposts and came across a quote I had blogged about at the start of the year and remembered how much I love it!!
"Leaving is not enough. You must stay gone. Train your heart like a dog. Change the locks even on the house he's never visited. You lucky, lucky girl. You have an apartment just your size. A bathtub full of tea. A heart the size of Arizona, but not nearly so arid. Don't wish away your cracked past, your crooked toes, your problems are paper ache puppets you made or brought because the vendor at the market was so compelling you just had to have them. You had to have him. And you did. And now you pull down the bridge between your houses, you make him call before he visits, you take a lover for granted, you take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic. Make the first bottle you consume in this place a relic. Place it on whatever altar you fashion with a knife and five cranberries. Don't lost too much weight. Stupid girls are always trying to disappear as revenge. And you are not stupid. You loved a man with more hands than a parade of beggars, and here you stand. Heart like a four-poster bed. Heart like a canvas. Heart leaking something so strong they can smell it in the street."
- Frida Kahlo
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