I can't do this anymore; I'm done.
Saturday, August 08, 2015Hi. My name is Emma, I'm 18 years old and I'm a student. Here we go again... Another of the posts where I rant about how everything is just too hard. Firstly, a little disclaimer; for those of you who know me personally please either skip this post or don't mention it to me in person. I don't really want to talk to anyone in person about this... But I need to tell someone. So, the Internet it is!
As most of you would be aware, I live in Hobart; the capital city of Tasmania. I moved a month ago from Brisbane (Queensland) for university and to start "a new life for myself". Cliche really, isn't it? At first, it was a struggle and something I knew would take a little getting used to; living 2800km (1740miles) away from my family and friends, adjusting to university life, the cold and everything associated with trying to "adult". I knew the first few weeks/months would be difficult but I never anticipated this much angst. I can't do it. And this isn't me being a commitment freak or chicken-ing out or anything like that. I just honestly don't feel comfortable living so far away. I just don't feel comfortable living in Hobart. I'm the kind of person who clings onto people (sorry Meg and Anemice). I rarely find people who I can so closely relate to and when I do I can't let go... I know that it's a bad thing (and, clearly, I am fully aware of doing it) but it's apart of my stupid, anxiety ridden body that fears not relating to people and fears losing people I'm close with. It's strange, but it makes me who I am. If there was one thing I could change about myself it would be dependence on a few people (because I know it annoys people).
So, where to from here?!? I'm sticking it out until the beginning week of September and from there I am going to re-assess. It may be, that I make that treacherous journey up the east coast of Australia one more time and move back home, or I may just learn to live with it for another year or so.
We'll see.
Thanks for listening to my rant. Have an enjoyable weekend :-)
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