I had a very, terrible, horrible not so good, very bad day (anybody get the reference?!) It won't be when I'm uploading this, but it's currently 9pm on Monday the 29th of February 2016... The last February the 29th was in 2012 and the next will be in 2020; so I guess it's kind of a special day?? The day now holds some kind of importance for me too now, I guess. Ugh, apologies... This post already sounds slightly depressing, and I'm sorry but it's probably not going to get any better *insert the eye rolling emoji*. I'm going to preface this post by saying that hopefully *fingers crossed* this will be the last irritating, somewhat depressing posts from me because that's all in the past now, right? Time to move forward, things are looking up and I'm focusing on me now... Also, I go back to uni tomorrow (Tuesday March 1st) and I'm still not super sure how I feel about that - am I nervous, excited, eager, annoyed? - my emotions are all over the place (as usual)... Honestly, I need the routine back in my life.
     Okay, so Monday-itis. You've all heard the term before right? The super annoying day that follows Sunday and ruins your amazing weekend. The stupid day that happens to be the beginning of the work week, uni week, school week. It's a dumb day and I've never been to fond of Monday's. This morning begun with me waking up in a hotel room and a gloomy sky. I had to be back on the coast by 12.30 because of my debating coaching commitments at my old high school so the three hour drive ahead of me was on my mind as soon as I woke up. J and I (yes, he's back in the posts but this is the last one - I promise) went down to the gym and did a quick 30 minute HIIT workout.
     Okay, back to the day... So we did our workout, went back to the room and enjoyed a super relaxing bath with room service breakfast - it was the perfect ending, if that's possible. I totally understand that this whole situation may seem weird to people, that we spent 2 nights together, knowing that at the end of it we were going to break up and part ways from each other. But it just made sense to us. Then came the waterworks. By this point, it was 9am and I knew we only had about 45 minutes before I had to head home and he went to the airport to head back to Sydney. The entire 2 and a half hour drive home I cried. I'm not going to sugar that, I cried the entire time. I pulled over three times to cry. I thought about the possible mistake we had made and that if I turned around I could get back to him before he got on that plane. It's dumb, I know and I'd probably never talk about with my friends because I don't deal with emotions very well (in case you haven't noticed). I played Adele's three albums the entire car ride. There's something somewhat liberating about driving, listening to Adele and crying incessantly. Here I was, suffering the worst Monday-itis I'd ever experienced. Knowing that once I got to my destination I had to put on a happy face sucked. I don't want to put on a happy face, I still don't want to put on a happy face, I hate happy faces. Once the debating meeting ended and I didn't have to have my happy face on, I again cried on my drive to Anemice's (the whole 5 minute drive that is). I don't mind crying, I just hate doing it in front of other people. So, happy face back on. Anemice is an angel! We went and did some errands at uni, grabbed a coffee and chatted and then went for a quick retail therapy session. I'm realising as I write this that my day was spent doing a lot of crying - I wonder how much water I lost from my body... I should probably drink a lot of water tomorrow. Once I dropped Anemice home, I just needed a few minutes to myself before driving home. Sitting in a carpark crying suffices right? Meg texted me, and so instead of driving home we caught up for a cup of tea and a chat. Another angel in my life!! While we were sitting there, I received a message from J so, of course, my stupid waterworks came back as I drove out of the carpark and back home. I had plans to make some kind of delicious smoothie for dinner but I was just exhausted, sad and felt incredibly alone so I got some butter chicken from the best Indian restaurant near my house, came home, emptied out my entire wardrobe, threw out a bunch of clothes that had certain memories, ate my delicious buttered chicken and am now sat in bed ready for an early night. I was tempted to get a bottle of wine (or two) and drink them while watching bad reality TV. But I have to be awake and functioning tomorrow morning for a lecture... So that's probably not a good idea. Maybe when it all catches up to me, I'll let myself just sit in bed and lose all inhibitions. It's now 9.30pm; I have 4 garbage bags of clothes outside my bedroom door, I have my most comfortable pj's on and am still listening to Adele. Time for bed.