Miss Independent.
Saturday, December 19, 2015
I'm currently at a spa/retreat trying to clear my mind... I've left every piece of technology (phone, laptop, etc.) back at home; so instead of the usual content for today, here's a scheduled post to be uploaded.
At some point in our lives we've all met some form of Miss Independent. Some of us know her better than others and claim the title ourselves. You know the qualities; she's self-sufficient, somewhat a mysterious go-getter, has big dreams, a bigger heart and not what she appears at first sight. She might be portrayed as a cold and distant woman, only because she needs a significant amount of alone time to keep her from feeling anxious and scatter brained. Of course she has friends and family with whom she spends a lot of her time but it's in her nature to crave hours of solitude. Some call it antisocial while she calls it sanity. For many reasons it's difficult for her to fall in love. It's one of the most difficult and confusing things she ever has to experience. Possibly it's because she's too focused on her own goals to realise that love is around her or she's so in control of her life that it freaks her out a little to think that she is surrendering a little bit of herself to someone else. There's also a chance that despite being independent, she's also insecure. Or maybe it's just that she's afraid of opening herself up to somebody else. Whatever the reason it doesn't mean she's a lost cause, it just means that developing any kind of relationship will require sensitivity to her guarded heart. Here's a few pointers on how to approach Miss Independent:
1. Be Patient: Don't expect her to be comfortable from day 1. You need to keep in mind that it probably takes her a lot of courage and thought to consider spending time with you. If she doesn't feel comfortable it's possible that she will want to take things extremely slow - whether it be a friendship or romantic relationship. Be mindful that she is going to care what you think about her and it will be on her mind at all times.
2. Be Supportive: Part of her struggle is that she is so focused on her goals and aspirations that she forgets to make room for everything else in her life. It's not intentional but it's part of her determined nature. Don't make her choose between her relationships and goals and certainly don't make her feel guilty for not spending as much time with you as you'd like. Instead, show her some support. If there's a reason for her to be in your life, show her and she'll welcome the encouragement.
3. Be the Talker: You have to remember that because she spends so much time on her own she has a bigger internal monologue, thoughts and opinions that she rarely says aloud. Remember that she rarely says what's on her mind because she fears that people will think it's overdramatic, odd or just plain weird. Also remember that she loves deep conversation. So talk with her. Make her feel comfortable and let her say what's on her mind without being afraid of judgement. Let her ramble. But remember that she wants to listen as much as you are, so have something to talk to her about.
Thanks for letting me ramble...
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