Are you up for a little personal chat?  

We've all seen the musical Wicked here right?? For those who haven't?!? My gosh, how are you still a functioning human, do yourself a favour and watch a few clips on YouTube. For those who have, it's just incredible right!?! Anyway, so with all of the recent 'shit' that's been happening in my life of late I've been immersing myself in classic childhood songs/movies/theatre. Anyway, back on track, I went and saw the musical Wicked recently (this may just be me, but whenever someone mentions Wicked I immediately think of the song Defying Gravity when in actual fact my favourite song from the musical is For Good) I remembered how sensational all the songs are!!! 

If you haven't heard the song For Good, here is the YouTube link and the lyrics to the song. It's sung by both Elphaba (bad witch) and Glinda (good witch) (the two protagonists) and is a symbol of their friendship as they are leaving/losing one another. For me, I have attached both a negative and positive connotation to this song. I have two people (not family [I say not family, because obviously my parents have strongly influenced me…]) in my life - both of which I have met in the past two years - that have had such a huge influence on my life. I would prefer to not mention the names or genders of the people so when referring to them throughout this post I am going to call one person A and the other B - original. Also, I recommend you go and listen/read the lyrics of the song For Good because 1. they are beautiful and amazing and sensational and relatable and woah, 2. what I'm about to say will probably make more sense. 

Okay, so I wrote and uploaded that post a few weeks back about Maturity and how it meant removing people from my life. Well, here is one person who I cannot see my life without. That person is "A". A has been in my life for just over two years and I can honestly say, (quoting the lyrics of the song) 'I do believe I have been changed for the better' because of them. I'll tell you this much - I met them at high school and I had fears of us parting ways after school. This could not be more far from the truth; we have laughed together, cried and truly shared some of the most incredible memories together. I don't have the guts to tell this person to their face for fear of public humiliation and judgement :-) but I hope if they do read this post, they can figure out it's them. I have briefly mentioned them in previous posts and mentioned how close we have become but I don't have the language capacity to explain my compassion, thankfulness and care for them. With or without them knowing they have got me out of so many 'teenage' situations, made me laugh and smile when I have felt at my worst, been a shoulder to cry on and been a person to make hugely inappropriate jokes with. One day I might gain the courage to tell this to their face, but for right now a blog post will have to suffice. The day I have to finally move away will be torturous especially leaving them and moving a three hour flight away - lots of phone calls, text messages, Pinterest messages (does that give a hint?) and plane trips will be happening!! Love you. 

Person B is more toward the negative aspect. They are a more recent friend, as in the past 7 months. We have spent almost all of those 7 months together and I would not take them back for the world, however I do wish the end of the relationship was a little more pleasant. B changed me, definitely for the better. I am more mature now, more loving, more caring, more trusting, more open. I am more happier with who I am now than I have been in the past 4 years. This is how I feel now. But if you had of asked me a week or two ago, this isn't how I would have responded. It's very hard to completely end communication with someone that you have grown so close too and spent so much of your time with. Despite only knowing someone for such a short period of time, I feel as though we bonded immensely and now that part of me has just disappeared. To say that I wasn't upset is a complete understatement, I didn't know who I was or how to act or even how to get on with my days. I felt like this for 2 days before fully comprehending the severity of what had happened and how to act like myself again. Luckily I have other sensational friends who were there and understood how I was feeling. This isn't the point, the point is that B changed me, changed me for the better. Every second I was with them I felt like I was maturing, growing, living, loving but most importantly enjoying their company. 

From now on when I hear For Good I don't truly know to respond, it's one of the most beautiful songs but as I mentioned it definitely has both positive and negative connotations for me. 

I hope this made some sort of sense to you, maybe you could totally relate to an aspect?

Love you. 
XX