conquer with coffee.

I'd Rather Write Nothing than Something Shit

, by Unknown

The Last First Day

Yup, you read correctly. Today was the last first day of term at high school for me EVER!!! (As a student at least). I just wanted to personally recount on today as it ended with me having a slight panic attack and I couldn't tell, but all day today I had received secret signs from my body to tell me that I was going to have one soon.

I had English Extension class this morning so I was up early and at school at 7.30am. This seemed to go quite normally, apart from the fact that we were all entirely hyped up on what seemed to be insanity (due to the content of the subject). Had the normal, long and tedious assembly. Then off to the first two periods of the day, drama and maths; both went quite normally. It's when it came to morning tea that I began to feel "off"; I began feeling really hot, drinking loads and loads of water and quite faint. However, none of my friends could feel this "heat"; this is usually my body's way of telling me that I need to lay down and relax for 15-20 minutes but being at school, this wasn't possible. So, I continued feeling this way through periods 3 and 4 and when it came to lunch time I was quite the opposite, I was feeling really, really cold. So I took a few moments to myself and just kept going through the day. It got to the end of school, I took my friend Charlotte home and then on my way home I had to pull over because once again, I was feeling faint. I finally felt like I was fine after about 15 minutes and once I got home I drank a ton of water and had about a half an hour nap but woke up feeling out of breath anxious. Again, I'm not the best at explaining this but it felt (although I was completely alone) like I was surrounded like a bunch of people that were crowding around me and weren't letting me get free. It's nothing threatening it's just a horrendous feeling.

These things usually happen when something stresses me out and I think at the moment the fear of leaving the place (school) that I've been restricted to for the past 12 years of my life and being "released" into the real world on top of everything that comes along with that (finding a place to live, a university to go to, a job etc.) I feel a little out of my depth.

There was absolutely no purpose to this post really; just something I need to get off my chest and I don't feel like there are many people around me that I can talk to about it.

- Emma xo

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The Seriousness of Panic Attacks & Asthma

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Innominate

I honestly can't think of a title for this post, so 'Innominate' it is; in fact, I don't even know what I want to write about, I just know that I want to write something, anything. As I come to the end of what will be my final school holidays of Year 12 I've been thinking today about my time over the past two weeks; I realise that I spent most of the holidays either with very close friends or by myself (which honestly, I love!). I've spent a lot of these holidays reflecting on the little amount of time left I have in this place that I always thought was somewhat of a prison but now that my time there is coming to an end I can't even imagine the state I'm going to be in when the next 7 weeks are up. Despite having only started at my current school in the beginning of 2013 I feel like I have met quite a few people that have completely changed my life and my outlook, I've spoken about this briefly before. I honestly haven't seen many people who I go to school with over the holidays and have spent the majority of my time with the two girls that I've known for the past 13-15 years, which seems absolutely crazy that I can say that I've known someone for that long considering I'm only 17!!

I don't really feel comfortable yet going into full details about what I have gone through in the past 10-11 months but it hasn't been great. I'm not saying this to get sympathy messages or anything like that, purely to explain myself. In December last year my grandfather passed away, it was somewhat expected as he experienced a stroke and wasn't very mobile but considering I had never lost someone so close to me before it was difficult and I still haven't had the opportunity to truly let it sink in and cry about it yet. I had always been that child at school who had all four of my grandparents and suddenly, one was gone. I remember my mum getting a call from the hospital a few days before he passed away telling us we urgently had to take the six hour trip up to see him because he didn't have much time left; we immediately dropped everything and drove straight up. I remember more clearly getting woken up at 3am to be told that he was gone and having to drive to my grandmother to tell her, who in her fragile state completely broke down and cried into my arms. I forgot to mention that on my mum's side of the family, I'm the only grandchild. The funeral was horrific, I'd never been to one before. Not to mention he passed away exactly one week before Christmas and just over one week before I was to leave my family and fly to the United States. The next few months we took that six hour drive quite frequently, until one day another phone call. ***Writing this is probably the first time I've ever vocalised (or written) my feelings toward this and my eyes are basically a running tap right now*** I woke up on the Sunday before my school formal to be told by my dad the gut wrenching news that my grandmother (Nanna) had passed away. This was honestly that hardest day of my life. Being the only grandchild, I have always had a very special bond with my grandmother and her passing was completely out of the blue and unexpected. She woke up, told the nurse that "Doug (her husband, my grandfather) missed [her]" and fell back to "sleep". I never got to say goodbye. The last thing I said to her was "I love you Nanna and I will see you in 2 weeks", she told me to have fun at my formal, we took a selfie on my disposable camera, highfived (which was a thing we have done since I was two or three years old) and then I left. I never got to say goodbye. I never had the opportunity to say goodbye to my grandmother, the woman I admired so much, the woman I loved so much.

On a lighter note, I've spent some days of the holidays packing up my belongings getting ready to move out at the end of November. I've never been responsible for packing my own things before so I've been having to pack things into boxes, label to boxes and remember where I put the boxes so I don't lose my stuff (which, it's bound to happen but I'm going to try and avoid it). I've also, as mentioned before, been thinking about how important the next few months are. In 7 weeks I will be done with high school forever. I won't have to see certain people ever again and it will be my friends and I responsibility to keep in contact and see each other regularly (considering I will be spending a lot of November-Febuary overseas and travelling this could be difficult). So let's bring on the minimal assessments and maximum enjoyment of the next few months!!

I promise I will try and have some sort of regular blogging schedule soon.

- Emma xo

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A Very Rough Draft - Applying Psychoanalysis to Alice's Adventure's in Wonderland

I've been asked, surprisingly, by quite a few readers to upload one of my assignments for English Extension onto my blog so they can read the wonders of the subject. I am currently in the middle of an assignment I like to call "My Pathetic Attempt at a psychoanalytic and archetypal approach of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"; and yes, it's just that. I'm currently in the drafting process (which is me sending hundreds of drafts to my teacher in the hope that she will tell me I'm on the right track and this is actually going somewhere) and I thought I would upload what I have written so far. But first, some background into the assessment - the task is basically, choose a text (or two) and apply whatever theories you can to construct a somewhat appealing 2500-3000 word assignment. I initially wanted to delve into the intriguing, yet horrific details (something like this), of the novel and author but was told to tone it down as panel (the people who basically cross check the assignment) would think I am totally, and utterly bonkers (which I am J). So, instead I have taken a few approaches; psychoanalytic, archetypal and feminist are the main ones.

So, here it is:

An application of psychoanalysis to Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland reveals Lewis Carroll’s construction of women as objects who are subject to the whims of the morality of the Victorian era.

While reading Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, the reader immediately associates Wonderland with the subconscious, dream-like state. This piece seeks to use psychoanalytical theory to further identify aspects of Alice’s subconscious. This subconscious mind is the “reservoir of feelings, thoughts, urges, and memories that are outside [Alice’s] conscious awareness,” (Pultorak, 2014, p. 35). As such, the reservoir contains such things as pain, fear, anxiety and conflict; all of which relate to Alice’s upbringing in the Victorian era. Furthermore, when applying escapism, a sub-theory of psychoanalysis, Alice’s battle with conforming to the normality set by Victoria era teachings emphasises her desire to separate herself from these normalities. Additionally, when combing escapism with an author-centered reading it becomes evident that Lewis Carroll had deeper intentions than simply creating a fun-loving children’s classic.

Alice was an upper-middle class child and therefore was cared for by a full-time nanny, thus her care was restricted to the basic physical needs. These necessities, according to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, include such requirements as food, water, air and sleep, which Alice would have had a sufficient supply of considering her social class, alongside the feeling of safety and security. Again, Alice would have had a high feeling of safety and security as she had a full-time nanny. In the area of affection, however, Alice fails to achieve on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, as her nanny would have been her main parental figure and she would not have had the love and attention of her parents. Stemming from the culturally accepted belief that children need to know that they are loved as well as having a role model of respectful and caring behaviour, my interpretation of the impact of the hired and paid nanny was based on this understanding of the hierarchy. Explicitly, this reading of Alice was prompted by her situation at the beginning of the text; which led to a deeper understanding of self-actualisation or the ability to express oneself or, as Maslow describes, do “whatever it is that person was destined to do”, (Maslow, 1971, p. 63). In Alice’s situation, she is not given the opportunity to “do” as her Victorian era restricts her from being herself and exploring her own future. As such, through a psychoanalytical and feminist lens, Alice becomes a feminine archetype within the text.

By applying archetypal criticism I explored the objectification within the text and the true nature of Alice’s construction was revealed. The anima, persona, shadow, archetype and collective unconscious were all explored to further highlight Carroll’s construction of women throughout Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. According to Jung, an archetypal character is “a typical or recurring [character] that has been in the piece of literature from the beginning and regularly reappears” (1963, p. 68) as Alice does throughout Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Alice “can’t go back to yesterday, [she] was a different person then,” (Carroll, 1965, p. 165), which shows that Alice, although in a subconscious/unconscious state, identifies that since she has entered Wonderland the regularity of her Victorian society is monotonous. This creates an opportunity for the reader to associate Maslow’s self-realisation to Alice’s character, as she is limited by the societal expectations of the Victoria era, thus failing to meet the requirements of self-realisation. When connecting Alice’s archetypal character with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, Alice becomes the archetypal representation of the subjective feminine voice as a result of her failure to achieve the identity constructed.

In order to explore the text further, an anti-feminist voice within the text led to an application of feminist theory. According to Freud “male equals subject while female equals object” (Friedan, 1963, p. 178). Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, while written by a male, follows the story of a young pre-teen girl on a journey of self-discovery throughout the progression of the text. This development is highly prominent from the initial pages as the author’s construction of Alice’s character becomes evident; Alice thought, “What is the use of a book, without pictures or conversations?” (Carroll, 1965, p. 23). It is believed that “gender inequality comes from early childhood experiences” (Chodorow, N 1989, p. 173) and thus both Alice and the author of the text become objectified by interrogation and examination of this theory. This proves that not only are the characters in the text are adhering to this feminist perspective, but due to Carroll’s upbringing, also in the Victorian era, he created, intentionally or unintentionally, the idealistic feminist setting. This setting forces the reader to experience what we believe is Alice’s journey of self-discovery however, when a feminist psychoanalytical approach is applied the story actually creates Alice has an object who is moved by, a combination of, her and the author’s subconscious.

Such early quotations make explicit her mentality, suggesting that Alice wanted to break free from the boring tasks of the Victoria era, which could be seen as the words throughout a book, and to add pictures and conversations would make it more fascinating, more enthusing, more astonishing. When combining psychoanalysis, archetypal criticism and feminist theories we begin to accept the true depth and understanding of the author’s approach of feminine objectivity through the invited reading, which is vividly illustrated through use of language techniques, put forth by Carroll, such as allegory, icons, personification and a particular perspective. The line, “I’m afraid I can’t explain myself, sir. Because I am not myself, you see?” (Carroll, 1965, p. 104) is a perfect example of allegory; a first read just seems to be an excuse for Alice’s inability to explain herself however, once a psychoanalytical lens is applied it becomes clear that Alice cannot explain herself for she is maturing into a new person, a person who is trying to abolish the unnecessary boundaries of the Victorian era.

Furthermore, a psychoanalytic approach combined with archetypal criticism shows the “[increased] experience and [the] basis of more reliable knowledge” (Freud, 1900, p. 185) encouraging the reader to relate more to the archetypal character. Alice is the perfect example of an archetypal character, which is “a typical [character]… that has been in the piece of literature from the beginning and regularly reappears” (Jung, 1963, p. 243); this allows the reader to easily identify with the story line and characters. Anima is the “inner feminine part of the male personality” (Jung, 1963, p. 245) and, when combined with an author-centered approach to the text, highlights the true personality of the author, Lewis Carroll. Thus, when we explore the text deeper, we see that Carroll explained Alice in a childish and naïve manner as Alice states “and what is the use of a book, without pictures or conversation?” (Carroll, 1965, p.93) creating Alice as a young and immature character therefore easily manipulated by Carroll and other characters surrounding her, this further shows Alice is an object of Carroll’s imagination. When we combine anima (archetypal criticism) with an author-centered approach it “denotes recurrent narrative designs, patterns of action, character types, themes and images” (Abrams & Harpham, 2009, p. 16) which further explains the invited reading set forth by Carroll; this invited reading only becomes prevalent when paired with a feminist, psychoanalytic and archetypal approach. As such, Alice can be seen as the repressed feminine side of the author, subject to the ideologies of the Victorian Era.

When further exploring psychoanalysis and combining aspects of the theory with Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland we begin to explore the persona, which highlights the “image we represent to the world” (Jung, McGuire & Hull, 1978, p. 342) and thus the image Alice represents to the reader is one of wonderment. When Alice queries, “How long is forever?” (Carroll, 1965, p. 75) it highlights her naivety and possible immaturity and therefore distances herself from the reader. The shadow analyses the “darker [and] sometime hidden elements of a person’s psyche” (Jung, CG, McGuire, W & Hull, R 1978, p. 347) which, when applied to Alice further explains the reasoning for her recluse nature as she travels through Wonderland; Carroll depicts Alice as the only “darker” moments throughout the text take place while Alice is “unconscious” (asleep). “A set of primal memories, common to the human race, existing below each person’s conscious mind” (Jung, CG, McGuire, W & Hull, R 1978, p. 347) is those in which Alice upholds at the denouement where the storyline is resolved and Alice awakens and returns to her ‘normal’ life which “[increases] experience on the basis of more reliable knowledge [and] forms of instinct”(Jung C, 1963, p. 185). The reintroduction, at the end of the text, of the calm riverbank closes the story in the same location as it began, therefore isolating Wonderland as a part of Alice’s subconscious fantasy. This, therefore, proves that this “unconscious” state that Alice was in when subconsciously dreaming of Wonderland was her own exploration of her dark nature. Furthermore, introducing the idea that the author wanted to, despite creating the terrors of Wonderland, begin and end the text with Alice appearing pristine and only dreaming of breaking the Victoria era ruling but not actually undertaking it.

Within Alice’s Adventure’s in Wonderland, Carroll portrays the protagonist, Alice, in a dream-like state, where “everything appears in dreams as the ostensible activity of [judgement]” (Freud, 1900, p. 445). Alice is depicted with a dulcet and halcyon nature however, when applying Freud and Jung’s interpretation of the states of consciousness alongside the subsection of psychoanalysis known as escapism it is clear that this is not the case; when referring to escapism fantasy indicates consciousness and phantasy specifies the unconscious. The Mad Hatter suggests that Alice, “… would have to be half mad to dream me up” (Carroll, 1965, p. 36), illustrating Alice’s evanescent insanity as explained by Freud as “unconsciousness”. This “unconsciousness” is what forces the reader to associate the characteristics of Alice with the subjectivity of a feminine voice, as in this state, being one of the only female characters, Alice is left helpless, leaving her to be subjectified by the author’s writing and therefore the reader’s interpretation. This “unconsciousness” "cannot subsist on the scanty satisfaction which they can extort from reality,” (Freud, 1977, p. 419) and thus “these day-dreams are cathected with a large amount of interest” (Freud, 2003, p. 88). So, when we combine this sense of Alice’s “unconsciousness” with an author-centered view, we see that Alice, and all of her characteristics, are in fact a part of Lewis Carroll’s subconscious.

This unconsciousness is what leads Alice to, in the first chapter of the text, fall down a very deep rabbithole, further and further away from the ‘normality’ of her Victorian era upbringing and her interpretation of reality. As Alice falls down the rabbithole she passes objects that would appear in dreams of people not in this subconscious state and as she travels further and further down the rabbithole it is Alice’s conscious subjectifying her desire to escape societal boundaries put forth by her upbringing. This is where an application of psychoanalysis, specifically escapism highlights the subjectivity the author has placed on the character. However, when applying escapism with an author-centered approach, the author can be seen to "transform his phantasies into ... the doom of neurosis,” (Freud, 1977, p. 81) and therefore the author’s neurotic/subconscious conflict becomes prevalent. According to Gérard Genette, there are three implied author focalizations; the first being zero focalization, where the author is omniscient throughout the text, the second being internal focalization where the author is a character in the text and the third being external focalization where the author talks objectively throughout the text (Genette, G 1988, p. 172). When applying implied author focalization to Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland it could be seen that Lewis Carroll fits the internal focalization. When researching others’ interpretations of the text it has becomes evident that Carroll was fixated on Alice Liddell, the real-life inspiration of the text, and thus the author "is one who succeeds by his efforts in turning his wishful phantasies into reality," (Freud, 1977, p. 81) by creating the text Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.

Just prior to Alice entering Wonderland she is forced to conform to the specifications of the doors to fit through into Wonderland. The normal doors represent society, Alice’s inability to open these doors is Alice’s inability to fit into society and therefore she will go to extreme lengths to fit into these such as drinking poison and eating laced cake. This inability to conform to these doors highlights the objectivity of Alice. Another interpretation of these doors can also be explained as, the large doors representing adult women and the small doors representing young girls; Alice’s inability to fit through the doors is Alice being equidistant between these two life phases, thus Alice is on the precipice of womanhood and cannot conform to society’s expectation therefore her fall down the rabbithole away from society is a pivotal moment in the text as it highlights Alice’s underlying issues and are a consequence of minimal adherence to Maslow’s self-actualisation. Alice constantly reminds herself that this is her own dream, she has control of what she thinks, feels and does; however it becomes evident through the introduction of other characters such as the Mad Hatter and White Rabbit that this control is quickly lost and thus "these phantasies include a great deal of the true constitutional essence of [Alice’s] personality" (Freud, 1977, p. 81).

Alice describes Wonderland as “curiouser and curiouser” (Carroll, 1965, p. 29), which is the first sign to the reader that this parallel world, despite being part of Alice’s subconscious, is something she cannot control. Alice’s unconscious mind creates the other characters, this is known as “Freudian imagery” (Cuddon, 1992, p. 356) and furthermore is seen as a “symptom of the writer” (Cuddon, 1992, p. 356). Additionally, Alice’s unconscious mind could be seen as a “psychobiographical approach” (Cuddon, 1992, p. 356) of Lewis Carroll as an author-centered approach combined with “Freudian imagery” (Cuddon, 1992, p. 356) as when combined further with the language technique allegory we find that Carroll use a false pretence. The “psychobiographical approach” is explained through four stages of methodology, the third stage being the most applicable to this text; the identification of pregnant (a metaphor carrying a deeper or hidden meaning) metaphor or image that organises autobiographical narratives (Safranski, R 2002, p. 52). The Mad Hatter is larger in size compared to such characters as Alice and the White Rabbit, showing the showing the Mad Hatter’s control over these characters as he can easily pick up and manipulate Alice. The White Rabbit, particularly in the tea party scene, is highlighted as being insane and completely uncontrollable just as Alice’s subconscious is when contrasted with her trip down the well to Wonderland, furthering instigating the immaturity of Alice’s character. These characters “are carefully [chosen] by the subject and usually concealed with a great deal of sensitivity,” (Freud, 2003, p. 88). When we analyse the subconscious in combination with psychoanalytical theory we begin to question “...is Wonderland really a wonder...when you have nowhere to land?” (Gregory, R 2008, p. 82).

These unconscious resistances often are results of feelings of guilt and described as “neurotic conflict” (Jung, 1963, p. 78). These “neurotic conflicts” are the explained as the “intense resistance the unconscious oppose to the tendencies of the conscious mind” (Jung, 1963, p. 185). When linked to Alice falling deeper and deeper into the rabbithole, away from her current Victorian society, there are numerous similarities this can further be explained by linking subconscious resistances with ideologies expressed by Lewis Carroll. When linking these resistances with Lewis Carroll’s subconscious ideologies it becomes evident that the author has created the characters throughout the text to revolve around Alice’s thought-provoking subconscious. Alice upholds her opulent lifestyle throughout her time in Wonderland by somewhat adhering to the Victorian era morals she was brought up with, however when opposed with other characters throughout the text, Alice’s sense of justice and morality crumbles. Alice, despite being the protagonist, is quite an insipid character and as the text progresses she gains maturity and becomes more self-aware. Alice is aware the “the world has absolutely no sense” (Carroll, 1965, p. 42) and is inquisitive as to who would be “stopping [her] from inventing one?” (Carroll, 1965, p. 42). The term “curiouser and curiouser” (Carroll, 1965, p. 29) as previously explained is Alice’s reaction to the strange world created by her, or the author’s, subconscious in an attempt to explain and continue reminding herself that is it just “a dream” (Carroll, 1965, p. 36). This term could also be used to undermine the Victoria era upbringing that she is faced with. Moreover, Alice’s maturity is an exploration of Carroll’s desires and stipulates his need to overcome the “neurotic conflicts” throughout the text.

When combining all of the above theory with an author-centered approach we begin to understand the impact of the author within a text. Whilst writing Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Lewis Carroll was described as "… an obvious child molester,” (Court's Correspondent, 2003); however could it not be possible that Carroll “is simply a lonely, creative oddball who knows his genius can only be ignited by the company of what in one elegy he has called 'a childish sprite'?”(Court's Correspondent, 2003). My belief is that an author is the cynosure of the text, without an author the text does not exist, thus understanding the author is quintessential to an understanding of the text. Alice subconsciously “pictured herself… as a grown woman…” and “how she would gather about her other little children, and make their eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream on Wonderland of long ago” (Carroll, 1965, p. 106). This deeper subconscious moment emphasises not only the thoughts of Alice’s subconscious, but when paired with an author-centered approach, also highlights the fact that Carroll portrayed Alice how she wanted to be portrayed therefore constructing himself as having devised a storyline that "cannot subsist on the scanty satisfaction which they can extort from reality,” (Freud, 1977, p. 419).

I believe the text Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland could be explained using Maslow’s argument that:

"You can't "undo" knowledge, you can't really become innocent again; once you have seen something, you can't undo the seeing. Knowledge is irreversible, perceiving is irreversible, knowing is irreversible; in this sense you can't go home again. You can't really regress, not even by giving up your sanity or strength altogether."
– (1971, p. 89)

Due to the fact that once Alice enters Wonderland she goes deeper and deeper into her subconscious mind and once she returns to her Victorian era upbringing those moments remain with her for eternity. Thus, when combing a psychoanalytical lens with an author-centered approach we are aware that Lewis Carroll’s subconscious is the main literary device throughout the text as we reveal that Wonderland is a true exploration of Carroll’s subconscious.

I know, I know, there is still a lot of work to be done but I've had quite a few emails wanting to read my work :)

- Emma xo

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My Bucket List

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My Inordinate Week

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Unwanted Pressures

"I'm not telling you that it is going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it" - Unknown

Ah, gosh. QCS; the most hated acronym in a Queensland Year 12 student's vocabulary right now!!! (For those who don't know, the Queensland Core Skills test is a test done at the exact same time on the exact same days [yes, there are two days of this horrible thing] and I don't know exactly but something about how it determines your ranking in your grade and then compared to the state and then somehow that data gets put into a score from 1-25 [1 being the best and almost impossible] and that determines the courses you can apply for at University.) These are four, 1.5 - 2hour exams on Tuesday 2nd of September and Wednesday 3rd of September that are almost impossible to study for because they test up to grade 10 knowledge… gahhhhh…

I am literally the queen of procrastinating, so the exams begin tomorrow and I've spent the past 4 and a half hours playing The Sims 3 and listening to music and now I'm writing a blog post while replying to all your lovely emails and watching pointless YouTube videos. It's known that I would do almost anything to not have to do work, although when I begin studying or sitting down to work on an assignment I get totally engrossed and could spend hours and hours doing so, I just don't have the mental capacity to start that process (one Sunday about a month ago I went to the movies 4 times in that day just so I didn't have to study for my English exam that was 3 days later.)

Anyhow, I've actually surprised myself this term and I've only cried twice (I was expecting to cry over stupid assignments and exams almost everyday like most kids in my grade are). The first was a few weeks ago while I was at home, on a Saturday, planning and drafting my Geography assignment. I was about 1000 words into this assignment and I really wanted a sandwich, so I walked down stairs to make this sandwich (I prepared all my salad ingredients) only to find we were out of bread. So there was poor Emma, feeling so sorry for myself because I was having a first world problem where I had ran out of bread :( The second was yesterday, and again, another first world problem. I was researching The Sims 4 game and was really excited to pre-order it online, when I found out it is only being released, at this stage, for PC… NOT MAC!!! I'm not sure if I'm just not letting myself cry over my school work which is then all building up to pathetic things like no bread or The Sims 4, or this is how pathetic my year 12 life has become.

Anyway, on the bright side I only have 5 school days left for this term (QCS for the next two days, exam block next week and then holidays) and then I only have 5-6 weeks next term!

Bring on graduation!!!!

- Emma xo

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Why Debate?

"Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress." - Mahatma Ghandi

Most people have harsh connotations attached to the word "DEBATING", words such as nerd and geek; however, the contrary is true. As a self-confessed debating addict I think I have quite the knowledge on the subject to get the word out that debating is actually "cool" and very, very helpful in life.

Firstly, to debate you need rigorous and critical thinking abilities you need to be able to think quickly and logistically to ensure a win for your team (i.e. in short-prep debates or when needing to prepare rebuttal during the debate). These quick thinking abilities also come into action in general day-to-day life either as a student or in the workplace and are highly important when working with a deadline (like debating). This is followed by gaining academic skills and knowledge about the real world and current events, debating topics are generally always to do with current topics the world is facing (i.e. Government structure/problems, legislation and community events etc.). Debating opens your eyes to the current events in the world by introducing you to a topic you may never have thought of before (or even just thinking about it from a different perspective). Also allowing you to make better and more informed arguments and develop a wider knowledge and more opinions about current society. As a debater you are more likely to mature mentally and emotionally a lot quicker as you are forced into a stressful (yet very thrilling) environment and encouraged to argue your way out of it, adhering to structure and rules of course! This also heightens your ability to think outside the box and see a different point of view than your own and gives you more of an opportunity to put yourself into others shoes and situations.

We can't forget that debating is a team sport (yes, it's a sport) and by debating you are learning more and more to work better in team environments and to cooperate in any situation with any people you are thrown together with, remember - you can learn from other people. This also encourages more focus in situations where you are given a short amount of time which appears very daunting and stressful but the more focus and determination is put into the debate, the better the team will perform. This ties in perfectly with responsibility of being part of a team, in a debating team every member needs to pull their own weight otherwise the team will not work cohesively. Furthermore, when working in a team environment it is obvious that organisation becomes very important, if you as a speaker are not ready and you stand up to deliver your speech that you have no idea of, it becomes VERY embarrassing!!!!

Obviously, debating improves public speaking skills and persuasive communication skills but it also improves your ability to take notes better and faster as well as the ability to speed read things such as evidence or prepared rebuttal.

Most importantly, debating is a fun and highly thrilling competitive environment that I highly recommend.

- Emma xo

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Counting Down the Days

For any Australian student, you would be aware that the end of the school year is fast approaching. Usually it's around the first or second week of December, however for Year 12 students it's the 21st of November. This means that in less than 12 weeks (not including holidays) Year 12 students across Australia will be finishing high school FOREVER! That's daunting! Currently, we are in week 3 of third term and already the assignments, homework and exam dates are rolling in quick and near. Over the next 6 weeks I have about 20 pieces of assessment, exams, etc. not to mention the QCS (HSE in NSW) tests which go toward your OP and determine the courses at University you can attend, and I don't know if I am going to be able to handle it; if I do all this work will be a complete miracle!

Currently, my assignment/exam schedule consists of: an English unseen (we get the question when we sit down to commence the task) exam on the novel In Cold Blood, a psychoanalytical approach on Alice in Wonderland for English Extension, a Drama senior production, Geography short response exam and sustainability field report and a math queuing assignment and exam. Yay! :(

On the flip side, school finishes on November 21st and on November 22nd I head to Singapore for a week instead of going to “schoolies” (an Australian celebration for all year 12 school leavers usually everyone heads to the Gold Coast or some other huge beached area to party, drink and, in the end, not remember the entire week. That 100% doesn’t interest me so I planned, a few years ago, that I wanted to head overseas and do some travelling.

Speaking of travelling, I also have a bunch of trips planned; Germany/Switzerland/Dubai for Christmas and New Years, USA in early January and France in late January and February. All before I begin the intense 4 year University course to become a high school English/Geography teacher.

So, for now my idea is to forget about ALL the travel and just focus on Singapore to get me through the next 12 weeks of school work but to also enjoy these last weeks, the friends, the teachers, the school environment for the last time before I head out to the big wide world!!!

- Emma xo

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